Friday, August 9, 2013

She caught my attention like a moth attracted to light, the type of reaction that causes my brain to send signals all over my body, paralyzing my muscles as if time has stood still. Leaving me in a stage of numbness while staring at her in awe from a far distance. Curiosity made me questioned who she was, so I gradually approached her. Somehow, she gave me a look as if she already knew who I was. My pupils became dilated after she told me her name. The sound of her name lingers in my troubled mind, I can’t seem to remember where I’ve heard it from? The name rings in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins.

As we continued our conversation, her beautiful deep brown eyes gazed into mine with sadness. I felt the tensions coming from her, I could tell there were unspoken words that she wanted to say but somehow, the words couldn’t roll off the edge of her lips. Before we knew it, it was time for her to leave, she reached over and gave me a warming hug.

The hug left me moonstruck because it felt so familiar coming from a complete stranger. The type of hug that could cure starvation of loneliness, it is found in-between her arms while wrapping mine around her body. At that very moment, my heart wanted to tell me who she was but my mind failed to understand, as if my heart was speaking in a foreign language.

She then whispered into my ear, “good bye…” Such simple words but I felt suffering and pain within her voice. The type of goodbye that shatter your hopes of ever seeing that person again. She let go of me and kept walking in the opposite direction, without turning back to look at me one last time. She is gone.. Leaving me with confusion, emptiness, and an odd feeling of myself missing something. I felt like I just woke up unintentionally from a pleasant dream, the feelings were raw, real, vivid.. and somewhat unexplainable. She left me cliff hanging with endless thoughts of her. I questioned myself, why do I feel lonely when she is gone? I don’t even know her? Could I be in love with a stranger? How? Have I loved her in my past lifetime?

Have you ever experienced this feeling before? Doing something that felt so familiar but you don’t remember. She was once the love of my life, even though I erased my memories about us, my heart still feels the same for her. The heart wants what the mind can't give. Now she is only a dream to me, deja vu.