Friday, March 25, 2011

Coming back home.

I've always believed in him. While growing up, I knew who he was and always prayed to him when things were troubled. Unfortunately, I took him for granted, expecting he will always be there for me when I need him, but when I am having fun or happy.. he wasn't in my thoughts. Around 2006, with good influences from friends. I relearn what I've forgotten over the past years. Sadly, temptation on this earth really pulled me away from him. Day by day, I started wanting my own ways in life. He spoiled me by always giving me what I desired, to replace all those years without a father and money that my mother couldn't supported my wants as a child. I turned into this selfish, greedy, confused, and depressed person in the inside. Things that I wanted, I received.. eventually I grew sick of it and didn't want it anymore, never satisfied. Going nowhere in life, I didn't try to improve anything at all within my 6 years after graduating high school. I started walking on the path of darkness. Soon later, my lover walked away from my life which made me realized that I was wrong, because karma really bit me where it hurts the most.. my heart. Yet still I continued on running scared while grabbing my bleeding heart in the same direction, hoping that money will heal it like a band-aid. Then one day, it hit me.. I was at a dead-end. I didn't know what to do, didn't have no one to talk to. My family and friends weren't there for me. I was lost. I had no choice left, knowing only one person can help. He was waiting for me to crawl back to him and beg him to come back into my life. It may sound unmanly but I did.. I cried begging for him back. For those of you who never believe in him, you may not know what I'm talking about. Once you truly give him your trust or be his people.. He'll make sure you will never fall out of the tip of his fingers. 

He saved me from the darkness so far. Ever since last Saturday I view my life at a different angle. I came to realizing that life isn't all about wants, but about needs. Be happy with what you have/need because wanting more will only bring you so far. It may make you happy for that very moment but sooner or later you'll be just like me.. bored of it.  I believe in God/Jesus without being afraid to admit it now, I will always need him in my life. 

Don't worry, I support not forcing God on others.