I think that is the true definition of being a boyfriend.

Being a boyfriend is more than just sending your girl “I love you and I miss you” texts, buying her material things, or calling your girl babe, baby, honey or whatever endearments you wanna call her. It’s something deeper than that. Being romantic is a part and by doing all those stuffs is a must. But I guess those things is just the side which is visible to everyone.

Being a boyfriend is more deeper than just a reputation, it is to have a bond that connects the two of you together. To dive deep into her heart and merge two souls as one. Most men lack these type of skills due to the fact that they don’t want to show their sensitivity side. Anybody can be your boyfriend but in order to become a great boyfriend is to be there for your lady every time she needs a helping hand, being there to listen to all of her stories, men should be leaders to the relationship, not a boss. Guide her through the correct road to where she needs to be. Advise her on what is right and what is wrong and ask for ideas from her on how to make things better, brainstorm then working together. Not bossing her around, telling her what to do and what not to do while you don’t put in any effort at all. If she don't like something, respect her and not do it. Her problem is your problem, her tears are your tears, and her happiness is your happiness. Make her laugh until she can’t even breath. Help her in any way you can, to build her future more stable. If she doesn’t like something about you, put in efforts to change because you care about her feelings THAT much. Look at her like no other women exist in this world, you’re so focus on her like aiming at a bull eye of a target, that all the other women seems to be just a blur to you.

You are the man, so hold her hand even in front of her parents, her friends, your friends as an expression of “you are mine, and I am proud to be yours.” Love her with your heart, caress her with your skin, allow her sexually cravings to come first before yours, and most importantly: GIVE. I am not talking about giving materials or money because anybody can do that. Give her something that’s more valuable; give her your time by losing sleep, because you’re too busy helping her find ways to make her life better, give her your health, give her your efforts, give her space, give her respect, give her a feeling of security to let her feel that as long as she’s with you, she will be safe. Put her needs first: even if you only have $20 dollars left in your pocket, still give. Remember, it’s not the money that’s important, it’s what you have yet, still give it your all, that’s all that matters.

I think that is the true definition of being a boyfriend.

Can't open up my heart,
Can't make up my mind.
The one who loves me does not excite me,
the one who excites me, often tend to hurt me.

But the pain is what makes me feel alive.
The love is warmth but causes me to feel subside.
Maybe I am still a fool, living with a lie.
Someone who don't know what he has, until one last try.

I get bored easily, I get bored to quick.
I'm like a living dead, with no time to tick.

Starting a New Life, New Mindset, New Me.

One of my goals for the future is to work hard on my career, to build my life from the ground up. As I'm paying all of my debts off, I am currently looking to buy a fancy car, nice clothes, latest TV, the new PS4, buy this, buy that. Get more in debt and in 10 years from now, I won't have anything to be proud of because I used all the money I worked hard for, showing off to impress people.

I need to grow up from that childish/negative mentality and use my money more wisely, to invest in something that could plant a seed where one day, I don't have to work hard to make money, the money will grow by itself. I have a mind-set of a business man, ambitions to success, hard working, positive thinker/attitude, so why can't I become successful? ..because I don't use my talents correctly, I focus on the things that I want but not take a step back to look at the bigger picture.

Don't put all your attentions on the item that you desire, focus on how to make the money first.. anybody could buy anything with credits or working 2 full-time jobs with overtime, now days. You might get what you want, but you're wasting your time when there is a better strategy. There are tons and tons of ways to invest your money. The keys are: being patience, having a good attitude, don't allow your cravings to manipulates you, and the last one is the most important, when you failed a couple of times, the differences between a successful person and an ordinary person is how many times they stand up and keep fighting.

Time is money, money is time, you might have a lot of time putting in the extra hours from your 9-5, then 5-10 OT, working hard just to buy that car you always wanted but of course, you're losing your life-span at the same time. Find a better way to make money and save time, that's the real way to success. You will then have enough time for your family, hobbies, important moments in life that money can't buy.

Isn't it better to have nothing but being confident because you know that your savings will back you up, rather than looking all fancy but you're living on the edge, paycheck to paycheck with payments? The term money growing on tree is true but not literally, do you understand process of growing a tree? The soil, the environment, the sunlight, how much water needed which causes the tree to grow properly? Not just anybody can plant a tree, you need to educate yourself first and understand to the fullest how it works.

I am writing this not only for myself but to those who are in my shoes as well, lost.. Stop wasting your money on things that you don't need and start planting seeds on investments that will help your future financial growth.

She caught my attention like a moth attracted to light, the type of reaction that causes my brain to send signals all over my body, paralyzing my muscles as if time has stood still. Leaving me in a stage of numbness while staring at her in awe from a far distance. Curiosity made me questioned who she was, so I gradually approached her. Somehow, she gave me a look as if she already knew who I was. My pupils became dilated after she told me her name. The sound of her name lingers in my troubled mind, I can’t seem to remember where I’ve heard it from? The name rings in my chest and the sound shivers down my veins.

As we continued our conversation, her beautiful deep brown eyes gazed into mine with sadness. I felt the tensions coming from her, I could tell there were unspoken words that she wanted to say but somehow, the words couldn’t roll off the edge of her lips. Before we knew it, it was time for her to leave, she reached over and gave me a warming hug.

The hug left me moonstruck because it felt so familiar coming from a complete stranger. The type of hug that could cure starvation of loneliness, it is found in-between her arms while wrapping mine around her body. At that very moment, my heart wanted to tell me who she was but my mind failed to understand, as if my heart was speaking in a foreign language.

She then whispered into my ear, “good bye…” Such simple words but I felt suffering and pain within her voice. The type of goodbye that shatter your hopes of ever seeing that person again. She let go of me and kept walking in the opposite direction, without turning back to look at me one last time. She is gone.. Leaving me with confusion, emptiness, and an odd feeling of myself missing something. I felt like I just woke up unintentionally from a pleasant dream, the feelings were raw, real, vivid.. and somewhat unexplainable. She left me cliff hanging with endless thoughts of her. I questioned myself, why do I feel lonely when she is gone? I don’t even know her? Could I be in love with a stranger? How? Have I loved her in my past lifetime?

Have you ever experienced this feeling before? Doing something that felt so familiar but you don’t remember. She was once the love of my life, even though I erased my memories about us, my heart still feels the same for her. The heart wants what the mind can't give. Now she is only a dream to me, deja vu.

New Life | Minnesota | MallofAmerica Vlog

I’m usually the most quietest person in the room but don’t play me for a fool who is not there when I don’t talk much.

I like to observe and pay close attention to certain people on how they act and their details. From the way they hold their drinks, eyes contact to others, speak, eat, appearances, style, attitudes, manners, to their personality, and so on. You can tell a lot about someone by just sitting there and watch how they interact with others. It gives me brief details about who they are, compared to asking them questions to understand more because I believe actions speak louder than words. You may lie with words but you can’t lie with actions.

Only a fool don’t pay attention, only a fool speaks without thinking, only a fool believes whatever people tell them. I’m usually the most quietest person in the room but don’t play me for a fool who is not there when I don’t talk much.

Missing Piece

Weak people who are in love, are like dreamers. The type of dream that's so vivid and high contrast. To them, love is a promise that never allow you to starve from loneliness while peeling your skin, piece by piece to reveal your true nakedness of the soul, creating a feeling of extreme sensitivity and fragile. Dreamers don't want to face the bitter reality of loneliness so they would do anything to keep on dreaming including sacrificing self-respect, pride, friendships, and so on.

As time goes by, they can't find happiness among the relationship. Why? The problem is they change who they are, in order to stay in the relationship. Like a jigsaw puzzle piece that doesn't fit but still being force as they push and squeeze it into place. That piece isn't meant to be there, even if you force, it won't make the complete picture as it meant to be. There will come a day when fate brings another piece that will easily slide into the exact same spot. Open your eyes more, you might miss the opportunity while searching for a piece that you think look the same.